Not Good
by blatant-rusted
Summary: Not everything is good for everyone. Two shot with two unrelated stories. LaviXKanda and Yullen


I feel so stressed…probably because I'm writing this the day before school closes…but rusty had no school today

**I feel so bored. So I decided to write an oneshot with two stories…one with Lavi and Kanda, the other with Allen and Kanda. Both stories are not connected in any way. And like every other character, they interrupt the narrator. Might be a little weird and serious at times but don't say I didn't warm you. The author advises that during said times of interruptions, she will take on a Carlotta mode from phantom of the opera…**

**T for teen man and not for the young under fourteen**

**I don't own this series…belongs to some other person That Hoshino dude…**

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Part One.

Kanda was out training. He always trained on a morning and he especially liked cold mornings like this one. The dew on the plants looked like crystals in the faint moonlight if not like water. The clouds had shed a tear for yet another victim of this war. That's what Lavi had said once. Kanda remembered it well. It was on a cold dark morn such as this that he had said it. He was down and it seemed like he was seeing the true Lavi in all his rarity. It seemed as though all his hyperness had been sucked out and replaced by a more serious person. And even Kanda had to admit that he respected that little piece of crap to his standards through all that red hair and energy. There was a strange emptiness in his green eye that time too.

Kanda grunted as he regained focus in his training. His movements and stances looked like one fluid dance. Maybe that's what he was doing…dancing in the moonlight.

"Dancing?" Kanda asked, "And since when did I respect that rabbit?"

Listen here…you're not telling this story so stay quiet little toad… Carlotta mode As I was saying…dancing in the moonlight. And even though he was blindfolded, he could see the forest clearly in his mind. He could even see the dew on the leaves of the trees and grass. Kanda liked training at this time because it was tranquil and had this aura about it…that made him feel somewhat less angry. Yes, even Kanda was calm but only in this small space of time. His days were filled with seemingly happy people, war and bloodshed. He wished that they would stop acting happy all the time. Though, some of them did stop on the battlefield. He guessed that people just didn't want to be reminded of the war or of the bloodshed and that being happy was just something to distract their thoughts. He hated that.

Even his nights weren't as peaceful as he would like them to be. They were haunted by that pink flower in his room, that man who gave him this curse and other things. For him, training was as much peace as he could get in the day. He made a wrong move and fell. This was the first time he had fallen, ever. But he fell because someone had invaded his sanctuary. No one was awake at this time except for him and the cooks but they stayed in their kitchen. He wondered who this person could possibly be and took of the blindfold. He looked straight ahead to see the one, the only Lavi walking around, entranced by what he saw in the pale light. He sighed lightly and was about to put the blindfold back on when the silence was broken.

"It's serene…isn't it Yuu?" he asked still looking up.

Kanda ignored the fact that he had just been called by his first name and looked up himself.

"I guess," he replied, "What are you doing out here?"

Lavi came over and sat next to Kanda. His expression was somewhat downcast as he looked towards the stars. Lavi noticed how Kanda's pale skin glowed dimly in the moonlight but such was the curse of beauty. And Lavi liked Kanda as a friend but he secretly wished that there could be more. He needed Kanda in a way. Without his harsh words or death threats, Lavi would have to annoy someone else to no end. And he found that he rather enjoyed his company.

"What the-" Lavi and Kanda said in unison.

Carlotta mode Shut up little toads and let's move on or I'll make you gayer than Dave from Vancouver. As I was saying, Lavi enjoyed Kanda's company. But he didn't want to ruin that friendship. He had spent so many years building it and it was still highly breakable. If only he knew if Kanda felt the same way about him, maybe then it would be easier. But he didn't know and it was killing him inside. He stared at the starts blankly and soon forgot where he was. He just saw the stars and nothing else.

Kanda cursed silently. Who did Lavi think he was, coming here and just sitting down like that? Deep inside he liked Lavi…I'm not shittin you…he really liked him. And even though Lavi was happy-go-lucky for most of his free time, really deep down inside, he liked the guy. Maybe he could possibly tell him but it might ruin everything.

"What are you doing up at three in the morning. Aren't you supposed to sleeping and clinging to your oh so precious blanket?" Kanda asked.

Kanda knew that Lavi treasured that stupid blanket more than life itself because it kept him warm on very cold nights. It was the only thing he ever came close to taunting him about because he wouldn't let go of it when they called in the middle of the night for him to take a mission. So he liked to remind him of that stupid piece of cloth. Lavi didn't take it to heart that his blanket had just been insulted. After all, Mr. Blankie was the best thing to warmth he had when it was cold. One morning he had even walked around the Order with it though no one really saw anything.

"Hey, don't insult Mr. Blankie like that. I swore I heard Bookman call me to read some ancient Greek thing and I bailed," he said still staring at the stars.

"Don't lie," he said, "What are you doing here?"

"I can't sleep," Lavi said, "Okay? I never really sleep anymore."

He looked at the grass. It wasn't fair. Other people could sleep when the time came but not him. He was cursed with insomnia. If he wanted to sleep peacefully, he could not. He would always be tossing and turning and trying to sleep. And when he did get to sleep, it wasn't for long. But wait…wasn't he forgetting something? Maybe he was but he didn't care. Wasn't Mr. Blankie in his room? He didn't have to worry about that anymore. But he felt he was really forgetting something.

"Go to your room," Kanda said.

"What?" Lavi asked.

"Go to your room now," he narrowed his eyes.

"Make me."

Kanda sheathed Mugen and got up. He took Lavi by the collar and began dragging him to his room. He wanted to train but as soon as he got inside the building, it started to rain. He sighed and dropped Lavi. Lavi was pissed off. He never asked to be dragged away. He got up and Shoved Kanda away as he walked through the corridors only to face the point of the sword.

"I didn't ask to be dragged," he said.

"I didn't ask to be disturbed," Kanda replied with much more venom.

"Well excuse me if I choose to be with someone I-" Lavi decided that he said a little too much.

Lavi walked straight down the corridor, not caring if he was in reach. He was pushed against a wall. At three a.m. no one would wake up at that sound. He reached for his hammer…that's what he forgot! He left it with Mr. Blankie. Damn his insomniac ways. So he was defenceless and mad.

"What were you going to say?" Kanda asked.

"Nothing…don't bother with it," Lavi looked away.

"Finish the sentence," he hissed. Kanda was not in the mood for games.

"Funny that you actually know what a sentence is," he replied.

"I said finish it."

His ribs felt like they were being crushed and his lungs felt like they would bust if he dare breathe properly. This was not funny. Lavi needed some air. He tried to pry away but he couldn't. He was not going to be asked again. And Lavi knew how much Kanda cared about the consequences of his actions. Not one bit. There was no escaping the inevitable now. It was either he died or tell him. And Lavi couldn't lie around Kanda because his friend always picked up on it.

"Alright," he said, "I'll finish it. Love. That's the last word. I love you. Are you happy now?"

"No. I didn't ask to be loved," he said.

"You can't choose that. No one can."

"And I certainly didn't ask for it to be you."

"Huh? You have me confused there."

Kanda let go and began walking to his own room. He felt that meditating might solve something. It might give him some piece and quiet in all this chaos. He had tried. He had tried to get everyone to hate him. That way, when he died, no one would remember him. And if in fact they remembered him, they would hate him. Or they might bring his soul back as an akuma and kill him again. He knew some people who would definitely do that. He blamed himself. He never could distance himself from everyone. Lavi was like some kind of thing that you have no idea what to do with it yet you give it all the attention.

"I am not a thing," Lavi protested.

Carlotta mode Listen here little toad. Me have very big headache right now so don't test my patience I will put you in a pink polo shirt that hugs your very stick like figure…like Clinton from TLC's 'What Not to Wear.' As I was saying…Kanda gave Lavi some attention. In fact he gave him more attention than anyone else in the Order. He was knocked down from behind and held in place. This was not good.

"What have I ever done you?" Lavi asked.

"You made," Kanda did not like the position he was in.

"I made what? What Yu, tell me!"

Kanda tried to free himself from the floor but he could not. He was down on the ground facing this blasted rabbit boy thing. His sword was sticking into his back rather painfully and he felt like throwing the thing across the continent for the first time. And Lavi wasn't about to let up either. He was like a cow on grass where the grass must've died trying to get the cow to move but of course the cow ate the grass so it didn't matter. He hated the fact that he was about to have a stitch from the sword sticking him in the back.

"You made…you made me…" Kanda trailed off.

Lavi knew it was going to be as good as he could get but he wasn't content. It was his turn to be aggressive now and he wouldn't hold back unlike Kanda. Even now he could hold a cool face and a level head. He looked unemotional as ever but just now his voice betrayed it. He sounded…vulnerable just now. But Lavi didn't need to be aggressive.

"…made me," he heard the words clearly, "hate you…"

Lavi turned downcast at this. He was assuming things in his mind as fast as a light year.

"I don't assume," Lavi says.

Carlotta mode Let's just go on with the story, shall we? Ahem…as we were saying…his thoughts raced and for a moment he lost track of time. It always happened in uncomfortable situations and made him feel all the worse.

"…in the beginning," Kanda was struggling to say the words.

The pressure he was under was going to drive the scabbard through his back.

"But then I fell in love with you," he finished.

Lavi snapped right out of his thoughts and stared, just stared. He had never once heard anything like that from Kanda. It was always death threats. He loosened his grip and sat on the stone cold floor. The place could be like the ice age sometimes. And what made it worse is that an even colder wind blew, making him shiver. Lavi stared at the floor now, unable to say anything now.

"You don't mean it so stop fuck around with me," Lavi continued to stare at the floor. He was acting childish but he had his reasons.

Kanda removed Mugen from underneath him and threw the sword as far as possible down the corridor. It had caused enough trouble on his back and he had to admit that it felt very satisfying to throw it. For the first time in his life, he felt a sense of freedom somehow. Somehow he felt a little calmer and a little more peace. Maybe Mugen was one of the things that took what little peace he had, what little freedom he had. He could disappear but they would always be able to tack him down. Discard the coat but they would still find him. Even cut his hair and they would be able to bring him back here.

He didn't feel like getting up or standing. But he had to get back his Innocence…this responsibility. Funny how you have to learn this kind of responsibility and the true art of war when you're so young. It can always be unpredictable. Kanda rose to his knees. He still didn't feel like getting up but he knew he had to. In a few hours, people would shuffle through the halls and Kanda didn't go well with people. They were always too nosey for their own damn good. He was about to rise to his feet but stopped to briefly rub the part of his back where his own Innocence had mercilessly jabbed him.

Once he retrieved his Innocence, he stood in front of Lavi.

"I meant it…every word. But we can never be, I'm not good for you," he said softly.

"Yes you are," he looked up, "You've always been."

"I'm poison…I kill."

And with that Kanda walked away. Lavi stared at the empty space but he would let this continue. He got up and walked behind him. He let him get away so many times before but not anymore. He embraced Kanda from behind, stopping him in his tracks.

"I don't care. I still like the poison," Lavi whimpered.

Kanda turned sharply and held Lavi by the shoulders.

"Poison isn't good for you," he said.

"Then I'll die taking it," Lavi replied, "Maybe it might be good for me."

"No. It won't be good for you."

"I'm not ready to die," Lavi interrupts the story.

Carlotta mode finale don't care little toad. As I was saying…Kanda began to walk away, ignoring the fact that he had hurt the only person who really knew and understood him. Only ignoring it didn't last for long. He stopped, walked back and did the only thing he could do right now.

Lavi looked down. He had felt so dejected just now. So lonely for a minute. And a second ago he thought his non existent heart began to break. But now there was a hand holding his lightly. He squeezed it and it responded. He suddenly felt a wave of tiredness pass over him and wanted to go back to his room to sleep it off. So he walked hand in hand with Kanda towards his room. The other would probably look at all the books like he always did when he was in that room. Somehow it interested Kanda; the kinds of things Lavi read. And somehow maybe, just maybe the poison might truly do him no harm.

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**It's really long and it took me some time to get it right it was the first time I did two drafts before officially writing, ever It's only the first part in the twoshot. I will update very soon. Please review.**


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